I come out with craziest shit while i am sitting on the porcelain throne. Shit here means ideas, thoughts, perspectives and even that witty retort that's a day too late. More often than not after flushing, it seems the ideas and thoughts goes down the same route as my other shit.

And as of late, my memory seems busted. Like a scratch on a DVD, my recollection power stutters, shrieks and get stuck on a frame - a frame before the big reveal. Leaves me hanging like an idiot. I am not sure if my lack of memory nowadays is due to severe amounts of alcohol, the fact that I am getting older (damn myself for saying it) or maybe it's an early sign of alzheimer. That'll be a bitch.

Memory to me are precious little stuff, like a movie archive where you can revisit that trip to Phuket over and over again or even to that day when I punched the dimwit who kept bullying me. Whenever I open my archives, I am transported to that time. I can feel the wind, smell the sea and even listen to conversation going on. I can't rewrite it (if i do, it would be called an imagination - and not a memory). It's a terrible thing to waste, this memory thing.

I reminded myself to get gingko biloba, which is suppose to improve your memory. But of course, I forgot. I may have to tattoo it across my chest. I have also increase my
consumption on those scaly aquarians (I was looking for the word 'fish' but got stuck).

Anyway, I am not too worried about it right now. Simply because i forget to after a few days until I remembered i was forgetting.

Perhaps I should take a nice long relaxing holiday (sans alcohol and party). A detox if you may. But in my current state of affairs, that day is as far as the islands I want to visit. Running a creative crack unit by day, a struggling entrepreneur by night and a sweaty photographer on weekends. It's no wonder I drink so much.

I rarely have time for myself! You know those little moments when you reflect on life - hey you know what - maybe I need to reflect more. Reflecting is like in those days of VHS, you have to rewind the tape and watch it again lest you want the tape to rot.

Ok, so I need a long holiday alone without alcohol, sit on a rock and reflect on life.

I will start applying leave soon.

I need to reclaim my life back!